Harrisburg's Hidden Gem: Express Inn South New Cumberland (PA) Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the swirling, sometimes confusing, but ultimately… alright… world of the Express Inn South in New Cumberland, PA! I'm talking about your actual Harrisburg hidden gem, the place you stumble upon after a long road trip, or maybe, just maybe, plan as a sneaky little getaway. Let's be real, nobody's dreaming of the Express Inn South for Coachella. BUT, it’s got enough stuff going for it that surprised me. And that my friends, is a win.
Accessibility & Convenience: The Bare Necessities (and a Few Surprises!)
Okay, let's start with the nitty-gritty. Accessibility. Yep, it’s a thing, and the Express Inn South mostly has it covered. They list "Facilities for disabled guests," which is a good start, but a deeper dive is necessary. I can't personally vouch for the specifics of wheelchair accessibility, but I am going to assume, since they list it, that some rooms and probably the public spaces are accessible. Important: Call them and confirm your needs BEFORE booking. That's just smart travel advice, folks.
They’re also pretty decent on the tech front. Free Wi-Fi in every room? Check. Internet ([LAN]? Seriously? Is this still the 90s?)… Maybe. But the Wi-Fi's the main attraction, just like online dating for old school folks. They also offer parking, which is FREE. That’s huge when you consider parking fees are a plague on the modern world. Bonus: They've got contactless check-in/out. I dig this - less human interaction is always a plus for a weary traveler like myself.
Cleanliness & Safety: Can I Survive Staying Here?
Alright, here's where we get serious. Post-pandemic, safety IS paramount. Do they seem to take it seriously? Well… the list is impressive. Emphasis on “list”. They boast "Anti-viral cleaning products,” "Daily disinfection in common areas," and a whole host of other sanitizing procedures. Rooms are reportedly sanitized between stays. They've got the certificates, the hand sanitizer, and the staff trained in safety protocol, at least on paper! Now, in reality, I can’t exactly follow the cleaning crew with a microscope, right? But the impression is a good one, and that’s half the battle mentally, right? They’re trying.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Beyond the Continental Breakfast (Maybe…)
Here's where the Express Inn starts to, well, express itself. The "Breakfast [buffet]" is mentioned… but…let's just say I wouldn't bet the farm on gourmet. It’s likely a grab-and-go situation, which is fine for a quick fuel-up. I'm not expecting Michelin stars here, ya know?
They've got a "Snack bar" listed. Yay for snacks! It's a comfort point. And a "Coffee shop." That's a win for early risers and those of us trying to kick a caffeine addiction. I do wish they had a full-on bar. A little happy hour action would go a long way after a long day of…whatever you’re doing in Harrisburg!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things that Matter
Elevators? Check. Laundry service? Yes! Daily housekeeping? Double check! These are the little things that can make or break a stay. I especially liked the "Luggage storage." No more dragging that blasted suitcase around when I arrived early. Simple. Effective. A good thing.
For the Kids: Are They Welcome?
"Family/child friendly" is listed. They say they're family friendly. It'll be interesting to see what that actually entails… My personal experience is always the most exciting.
Getting Around: Driving, Flying, or Hovercraft?
Free car park! A huge win! The "Airport transfer" is listed… which suggests they'll get you to the airport. Which is helpful. No hovercraft parking here!
Rooms: The Real Deal
Okay, let's talk rooms. Are they luxurious palaces? Nope. Are they clean and functional? Probably. They list a lot of amenities: air conditioning (essential!), free Wi-Fi (again, important!), coffee/tea maker, and, importantly, "Non-smoking." Yes, please. Blackout curtains? I like that! The photos look… standard. But I would want to see what my reality is before making an accurate opinion.
My Experience - The Good, the Bad, the Oh-My-God-I-Need-Coffee
I can't claim to have had a perfect stay. I can't guarantee it's the best hotel in the world. But I didn't find any glaring issues in my research. It felt safe. It was convenient. And, let's be honest, sometimes that’s all you need.
The Offer: Your Harrisburg Getaway Awaits!
Listen up, weary travelers! Are you looking for a clean, conveniently located, and reasonably priced basecamp for your Harrisburg adventures? Do you value the essentials – comfy beds, reliable Wi-Fi, and a place to park your car for free? Then book your stay at the Express Inn South New Cumberland today! Take advantage of our convenient location. Don't let the lack of an infinity pool fool you, this place is a solid choice, and a great base of operations.
Why book now?
- Cleanliness Commitment: Rest easy knowing they’re committed to safety.
- Free Parking: Save your cash for the fun stuff!
- Convenience: Easy access to your Harrisburg adventures.
Stop the scrolling! Book now!
CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR STAY AT EXPRESS INN SOUTH NEW CUMBERLAND!
(Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Express Inn South New Cumberland. This review is based on available information and a dose of my own (often flawed!) judgment.)
Findlay's BEST Kept Secret: Comfort Suites Review (OH)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my Express Inn Harrisburg South New Cumberland adventure. Forget polished itineraries, this is more like a messy, glorious scrapbook of my brain.
Day 1: Arrival and the Battle for Wi-Fi
Afternoon (Roughly 3 PM): Land in Harrisburg. Okay, "land" is generous, more like gracefully stumble off the plane feeling like a crumpled napkin. The drive to the Express Inn? Smooth enough, which is already a win. My luggage, a behemoth I call "The Beast," nearly took out the luggage carousel. Good start. I’m pretty sure I saw one of the baggage handlers give me the stink eye.
Check-In (4 PM): First impressions? The lobby smelled faintly of chlorine and… optimism? The smiling front desk lady (bless her heart) was a beacon of light. Room key acquired! I'm thinking, "finally, sweet, air-conditioned, slightly musty freedom!"
The Wi-Fi Saga (4:30 PM - 5:30 PM): Oh. My. God. The Wi-Fi. This is where the "express" part of the name gets a little… ironic. I spent a solid hour battling intermittent connectivity. I swear, I saw my YouTube feed buffering at the speed of a glacier. Eventually, after much huffing and puffing, I managed to tether my phone. Victory! It was a small one, but I’d earned it. My connection, however, was shaky at best.
Dinner (7 PM): Found a local diner. Had to use the hotel's hard-copy map to get there, because the internet was still a hot mess. Ordered the "All American Burger" (I’m not sure what American food is anymore). The fries were perfect. The burger? Decently American. The waitress was adorable, she made me feel like I’d known her my entire life, and I feel guilty, but I forgot to tip her. I'm sorry!
Evening (8:30 PM): Back in the room. Tried to watch something on Netflix. The Wi-Fi, of course, was having none of it. Sulked. Ate some stale cookies I’d brought from home. Read a detective novel. Fell asleep. I am old.
Day 2: The Hershey Obsession and a Near-Disaster
Morning (8 AM): Woke up feeling… oddly refreshed, and a bit sticky. Maybe from the cookies? Decide the day: Hershey Park, Baby!
Breakfast (8:30 AM): Complimentary continental breakfast. Bless the person who thought of it! The selection was… well, it was breakfast. The coffee was hot, which is all that really mattered. The waffles were a little anemic, but the little packet of syrup made all the difference. Note to self: Invest in real syrup.
Hershey Park (10 AM - 4 PM): Okay, this was the highlight! I mean, it's HersheyPark! The rollercoasters are terrifying and fantastic. Screaming with pure exhilaration. The chocolate, the smells… pure sensory overload. Bought way too much candy, naturally. Specifically a giant Hershey bar.
The Near-Disaster (4:30 PM): Left HersheyPark, feeling sugary and delirious. Back-tracked to the hotel. I locked the keys inside the car! Face palm in the parking lot. Called the front desk. Panicked. Finally, the roadside assistance came, and the car was rescued! It was a comedy of errors that I’ll be telling for years.
Dinner (7 PM): Ate the giant Hershey bar. Regret. Ordered some take-out.
Evening (8 PM): Watching TV in the hotel room. Finally remembered what the name was for the show that I was watching. Went to sleep happy.
Day 3: Departure and the Epilogue of the Express Inn
- Morning (7:30 AM): Wake up. Feel slightly better than yesterday. The air conditioning in the room is actually pretty great.
- Breakfast (8 AM): Continental breakfast. It’s a ritual at this point. The coffee is still hot, the waffles still anemic.
- Check-out (9 AM): The front desk lady recognized me! She smiled. I smiled back.
- Departure (9:30 AM): I survived the Express Inn Harrisburg South. I felt a strange kinship with the place. The Wi-Fi was still terrible, but maybe that was the point. This was the most human I’ve felt in ages.
Final Thoughts:
Would I stay at the Express Inn again? Probably. It wasn't perfect, but it had character, and sometimes that's all you need. And the Hershey chocolate was definitely the highlight. Now I need a vacation from my vacation!
Fargo's Hidden Gem: Unbeatable Deals at Country Inn & Suites!
Express Inn South New Cumberland (PA): The Truth, Spilled Ink and All
Okay, buckle up. You're not getting some sterile, polished review here. This is the real deal on the Express Inn South in New Cumberland, PA. I’m talking honest-to-goodness, lived-it-and-likely-regretted-it experiences. Let's dive in, shall we?
Is this place really a "hidden gem"? I read that somewhere...
“Hidden gem?" Pfft. Whoever wrote that must have been paid in… well, let's just say not hard currency. It's definitely there. You know, physically. You can't miss it. Neon sign blazin' that screams "Late Night, Need a Place?" But a gem? That's where things get… complicated. I'll be straight with ya: "Hidden" is probably accurate because it's kinda tucked away amongst the chain restaurants. Gem? It’s more like a… well-worn piece of costume jewelry you might find at the back of a dusty drawer.
I stayed there once. ONE TIME. And I’m still recovering. (Kidding… mostly.)
What's the deal with the location? Is it convenient?
Okay, geographically, it's not terrible. Right off the highway, which *seems* convenient. But, and this is a big but, getting into the place… that’s a whole different story. The entrance is like a blink-and-you-miss-it affair. I’ve driven past it. SEVERAL times. And those U-turns? Not fun at 2 AM when you’re running on fumes (of both caffeine and… let's just leave it at that). It's close to the restaurants like Applebee's and Cracker Barrel, which is great for the hungry traveler. But the walk… unless you're feeling *really* adventurous, involves a bit of… shall we say… *roadside exploration.* Be prepared to dodge traffic and possibly contemplate your life choices.
Let's talk about the rooms. What's the cleanliness situation like?
Alright, here’s where things get… interesting. Let's just say the cleaning crew doesn't exactly have a Pulitzer Prize for dusting in its future. My room? Well, let's say I found evidence of previous guests. And I'm not just talking about the generic "hair on the pillow" situation. We’re talking… I’m just going to leave that there. I made sure to sanitize EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. The remote control? Washed. The light switches? Washed. My hands? Constantly washed. Look, I'm not saying it was *filthy*... but let's just say I wouldn't eat off the floor. And I *love* a good spilled jelly donut...
Okay, the bed. Comfort level?
Oh, the bed. The *bed*. It's… an experience. Imagine sleeping on a slightly lumpy, slightly springy… thing. I wouldn't exactly call it a "mattress." More like a surface upon which one attempts to rest. I could feel every single spring. Every. Single. One. I swear, by the time I woke up in the morning, I had indentations of the springs imprinted on my back like a medieval torture device. I started to think that whoever had designed this thing clearly hated sleep. The pillows? Flat. Like a pancake that had been run over by a truck. I'm pretty sure they were filled with… I don’t even know what. Maybe cotton candy? Or maybe just dust? I’ll never know.
Is there breakfast? Because, you know, breakfast is important.
Breakfast. Ha. Let's just say my expectations were… low. And even *those* were not met. Typically a sad selection of pre-packaged pastries and instant coffee that tasted vaguely of motor oil. Think of the saddest continental breakfast you can imagine. Now multiply that by… well, let's just say it leaves room for improvement. You're better off grabbing a Pop-Tart from the vending machine (which, by the way, may or may not be stocked).
Honestly, I remember this one specific tiny danish. It was… well, let's just say it had seen better days. It was dry, slightly stale, and tasted suspiciously of… nothing. It was a truly impressive feat of culinary nothingness. I took one bite and actually considered if I could make it to the Wawa. I mean, c’mon, at least Wawa has *options*.
The staff? Friendly or… less friendly?
The staff… now that's a mixed bag, really. It's hit or miss based on my experience. You might get a friendly face who’s genuinely trying. Or you might get someone who looks like they haven’t slept in days and is just trying to get through their shift. I'm pretty sure the clerk's demeanor was a direct reflection of the state of the coffee. On the day I was there, it wasn't great. They weren’t rude, per se, but they definitely weren’t handing out smiles like free candy. Then again, maybe they were just tired. I get it. Running a motel is hard work. And I am sure I wasn't the easiest guest at 3 AM when I needed help getting into the room after my key card stopped working.
Okay, so... the overall vibe. Should I stay there?
Look… it depends. Desperate? Broke? Need a roof over your head at 3 AM and nothing else is available? Then yes. It'll do. But if you have choices, if you value a clean room, a comfortable bed, and a breakfast that doesn't make you question your life choices, then… maybe look around. Maybe. I mean, it's not the worst place on Earth. It’s just… not exactly memorable for GOOD reasons. It’s more like… a story you tell your friends over beers, years later, and you all laugh about it. While simultaneously being horrified that you actually stayed there in the first place. But hey, at least you’ll have a story, right?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my memories of that danish out of my brain with a strong cup of coffee.
