Hoxton Portland: The Portland Hotel You NEED to See!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's cookie-cutter hotel review. We're diving headfirst into the gloriously messy, undeniably human experience that is… The Hoxton Portland. And let me tell you, after my stay? Yeah, you NEED to see it. You absolutely, positively, need to.
(SEO keywords here, folks! Hoxton Portland, Portland Hotels, Accessible Hotels, Free Wi-Fi, Spa, Restaurant, Bar, Pet-Friendly, Cleanliness, Safety, Best Portland Hotel)
First things first: Accessibility. This is HUGE for me, and listen, the Hoxton mostly nails it. They've got facilities for disabled guests and an elevator, which is a godsend. I didn't personally need a wheelchair accessible room, but I poked around a bit and they definitely offer them. Seeing that they're actually thinking about it is a huge plus. Makes you feel like they actually want everyone feeling welcome. My only REAL niggle (and it's a small one) is that the website could be clearer about the specifics. Maybe a dedicated accessibility page? Just a thought, Hoxton!
Now, let's talk Internet. Because, let's be real, in this day and age, Wi-Fi is a human right. And the Hoxton delivers on that front, HARD. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Woohoo! And not just some flaky, barely-there signal. It was solid. I mean, I streamed a LOT of cat videos (research, obviously) and never lagged. Plus, they have Internet access – LAN if you’re old school (like, dial-up old school). They get an A+ for Internet services. You can even host events with Wi-Fi, so that is a plus if you're doing something like a presentation.
Rooms, Oh, Those Rooms!
Okay, so the rooms. I stayed in a standard room (or maybe it was a non-smoking one? Honestly, the room decorations are pretty impressive!). The air conditioning was a lifesaver during that Portland heatwave (yes, it gets hot there sometimes, believe it or not). I loved the blackout curtains – perfect for sleeping in after a night at the bar (more on that later). They also have soundproof rooms, which is crucial in a city that's constantly buzzing with energy. Bathroom phone?!?! I mean, who even has those anymore? Felt like I was in a Bond movie for a second. The bed? Heavenly. Seriously, I wanted to take it home with me, extra long beds! And the bathrobes? Luxe. Plus, the slippers made me feel fancy. Seriously! They didn't skimp on the details. Love the complimentary tea and free bottled water; a little perk goes a long way.
Cleanliness and Safety: Peace of Mind, Baby!
Right, so the elephant in the room: COVID. I'm a bit of a germaphobe (ahem, health-conscious), and the Hoxton did a great job making me feel safe. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, professional-grade sanitizing services…they were on it. They've got hand sanitizer everywhere, and I felt comfortable using the elevators. I felt at ease. The staff is masked too, which is great. I saw staff following hygiene standards. Even the breakfast takeaway service felt fresh and safe. This is a BIG deal, people.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: My Stomach's Happy Place
Okay, here’s where I officially lost my mind. The food and drinks? AMAZING!
Restaurants: THE RESTAURANTS! There were, like, several! I'm making that number up, but the vibe of the place is electric.
Bar: The bar scene is where it's AT. Happy Hour? Oh, yes. I might've spent a few happy hours there, nursing a cocktail (or two…or three). The bartender remembered my name after the first night, which is a win in my book.
Coffee Shop: A coffee shop, too! Needed it for the morning.
Poolside bar: They have an outdoor pool, too, and its the perfect place to unwind after a day of exploring.
- Cuisine: Asian, international, western cuisine--you name it, you'll like it.
- Breakfast: They have breakfast, not just the usual continental. The buffet looked amazing, it had everything.
- Room service [24-hour]: The best service! They sent me food at 3 AM!
I rambled, because I'm still reliving it… It's like a culinary adventure at every turn.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Your Bliss is Right Here
This place understands the art of chill. Okay, here’s where I got really serious.
- Spa/Sauna: I never miss this on my vacations.
- Fitness Center: They have a fitness center.
- Steam room: I have one in my home too, but I like trying different ones.
- Pool with view: The best.
- Massage: Yes please!
I took advantage of their spa. Oh. My. God. I got a body scrub and a massage. I almost fell asleep during the massage (in the best way possible). The pressure was perfect. The ambiance was pure zen. They have all of this, and more. So relaxing. They have ways to relax at this place.
Services and Conveniences: Basically, They've Got Your Back
They have everything. I mean, EVERYTHING.
- Daily housekeeping: Thank heavens.
- Concierge: They helped me book a tour.
- Free Car Park: I drove my car. It was great to park it for free.
- Convenience store: I ran out of toothpaste at midnight. They sold it.
- 24-hour Front desk: They are really nice.
I might have been a little bit too excited.
For the Kids: Bringing the Whole Family!
They have babysitting service available! If you have kids. And the hotel is generally family/child friendly.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy
They have airport transfer and taxi service. If you choose to drive there, you can do that too. Plus, you can check-in/out [express].
The Quirks and the Charm: Because Perfection is Boring
Look, no place is perfect. I didn't see any pets allowed, which is a bummer for this animal lover.
The Verdict: Book It. Now.
This isn't some sterile, corporate hotel. This is an experience. It's a vibe. It's the kind of place where you can relax, recharge, and maybe, just maybe, rediscover your love for life.
My recommendation?
Book Hoxton Portland now.
Here's My Crazy-Good Offer: (This is where it gets really good)
"Escape to Portland! Hoxton Portland: Your Next Adventure Awaits!"
Book now and get:
- 20% off your stay: Use code "HOXTONESCAPE" when booking.
- Free breakfast every day: Fuel up for your urban explorations! (No more having to run out at 6 AM for a coffee)
- A complimentary cocktail at the bar: Cheers to a memorable stay.
- Guaranteed late check-out: Sleep in! You deserve it.
Why should you book?
Because you, my friend, deserve to be pampered. You deserve a place where you feel safe, comfortable, and inspired. You deserve the Hoxton Portland. Don't delay. Book now!
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The Hoxton, Portland: My Brain on Boots and Brunch (A Messy Itinerary)
Okay, so here's the deal. I'm in Portland. The Hoxton. Supposedly chic. I'm a mess, but a hopefully stylishly messy one. This "itinerary" is less a rigid schedule and more… well, it's my attempt to corral the chaos. Prepare yourselves.
Day 1: Arrival, Coffee, and the Crumbling Empire of My Hangover
- 8:00 AM (ish): Landed at PDX. God, the carpet. I swear it's designed to hypnotize you into buying a pair of overpriced hiking boots. Already craving coffee. Already regretting last night. The flight was a blur of airplane-sized wine bottles and the vague feeling of "I will NEVER do this again." (Famous last words, I’m sure.)
- 9:30 AM: Checked into The Hoxton. Sleek, yeah, but already feeling a bit… antiseptic? The room is nice, but the lighting is a bit… severe. Like, I'm expecting a interrogation lamp at any moment.
- 10:00 AM: Coffee. STAT. Found a "local" coffee shop - Heart Coffee Roasters. (Because everything in Portland is locally this and locally that. Bless them.) The coffee was… good. Really good. Life-affirming, even. Needed that. My head currently felt like a tiny drummer was practicing the conga on my brain.
- 11:00 AM: Wandered aimlessly. This is where things start to get wobbly, itinerary-wise. Got completely lost. Ended up on a street with a bunch of vintage shops. Dipped into a few. Found a truly hideous, yet strangely compelling, velvet blazer. Considered buying it for approximately 30 seconds before my common sense kicked in and screamed "NO!"
- 12:30 PM (ish): BRUNCH. (Obviously.) Found a place called Mother's Bistro & Bar. This place was PACKED. Like, elbows-to-elbows packed. I was starving. The eggs were fluffy, the bacon perfectly crispy, and the bloody mary… well, let's just say it helped smooth over the cracks from last night. Seriously, that bloody Mary should be bottled and sold.
- 2:00 PM: Exhausted. Seriously, just… depleted. Need a nap. Back to the Hoxton to recharge and contemplate the meaning of flannel.
Day 2: Rain, Roses, and a Deep Dive into Doughnuts (and Regret)
- 9:00 AM (ish): Woke up to RAIN. Shocking, I know. Portland, you magnificent wet beast. Decided to embrace the downpour. I am nothing, if not adaptable.
- 10:00 AM: Powell's City of Books. Okay, this place is LEGIT. Lost myself for hours. Got completely swallowed up in the sheer volume of words. Came out with three books I might read. Definitely felt smarter just being in there.
- 1:00 PM: The International Rose Test Garden. Honestly, didn't expect to be moved by roses. But those colours! That smell! It was beautiful. Almost brought a tear to this cynical old soul's eye. (Don't tell anyone.)
- 2:30 PM: Voodoo Doughnut. Here's where things went sideways. The line was insane. The doughnuts were… well, they were doughnuts. The Bacon Maple Ale doughnut? Yeah, it was a bit much. The experience, however, was a total Portland cliche. The vibrant chaos, the tourists snapping photos, the sugar rush… it was pure, unadulterated, delicious madness. Worth it? Maybe. Regret? Possibly.
- 4:00 PM: Post-doughnut existential crisis. Felt like I was going to spontaneously combust with sugar. Needed savory. Needed something real.
- 5:00 PM: Dinner. Explored the food cart scene. Overwhelmed by choices. Settled on a very average taco. Should have gone for that craving of something salty, greasy, and oh so satisfying.
- 7:00 PM: Attempted to go to a live music venue. Gave up on the lines. Back to the hotel to watch a movie.
Day 3: Coffee, Coffee, and Maybe a Little Art (And Definitely More Regret)
- 9:00 AM: Coffee again! This time Stumptown. Slightly less magic, but still good. Starting to think I could become a coffee snob. (Don't tell me.)
- 10:00 AM: The Portland Art Museum. Wander through the galleries. Enjoy certain pieces, feel confused by others. Question my own understanding of art. Decide abstract expressionism is just glorified scribbling. (Okay, maybe I'm too harsh. But still.)
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Found a food truck. Felt a bit too "local" to be honest.
- 2:00 PM: Walked. Just walked. Through a park. Saw some trees. It was… fine.
- 3:00 PM: Shopping. (Tourist things, you know?). I bought a t-shirt. I hate it. (I will wear it.)
- 4:00 PM: Regret the t-shirt.
- 5:00 PM - onwards: Drinks and dinner. (At a place, I can’t even name anymore). More socializing. More wine. Going to the hotel to sleep. Wake up very early, regretting decisions.
The Verdict:
Portland. Rain, coffee, roses, and really, really good food. Slightly exhausting but also utterly charming. The Hoxton… fine. Cool. Not necessarily my vibe, but okay. (Maybe a tad too much of a "curated experience" for my taste.)
Will I come back? Probably. Will I plan a tighter itinerary next time? Absolutely not. Because let's be honest, the best travel experiences are the ones you don't plan. They are the ones you stumble into, the ones you get lost in, and the ones that leave you with a bag full of memories, a few questionable purchases, and a slightly fuzzy head.
Now, where's that coffee… and a lie-down? Portland, you wild, beautiful place. I'm off to the airport.
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Hoxton Portland: The Hype and the Heartbreak (Probably Mine, Maybe Yours)
Okay, Okay, So What's the Deal with the Hoxton Portland? Is It *Actually* Worth the Hype? Or Just Another Pretty Face in a City of Artisan Coffee and Beards?
Alright, fine. Let's get this over with. The Hoxton? Yeah, it's hyped. Like, *majorly* hyped. Instagram is practically vomiting photos of the lobby (which *is* stunning, I'll give it that). And honestly? Mostly, yeah, it lives up to it. But... it's complicated. See, I went in expecting perfection – polished floors, smiling staff, and maybe, just maybe, a unicorn delivering room service. (Okay, I exaggerate. A little). What I got was... well, a Hoxton. A good one, mostly. But with its own little quirks and, dare I say, imperfections.
The Rooms – Are They Tiny Shoe Boxes of Dreams or Spacious Sanctuaries of… well, Something?
Okay, so the rooms. This is where it gets real. They're *cozy*. Let's be honest. "Cozy" is code for "small". I booked a 'Snug' room, fully expecting to feel like I was crammed into a shipping container. And I wasn’t *wrong*. My suitcase almost became one with the wall. But… and this is important… even the tiny room managed to feel cool. It was clearly designed by someone who understood how to maximize space. Smart layout, clever storage… I actually *liked* it. And the ridiculously comfy bed nearly swallowed me whole! Almost lost a day there…
That Lobby… Does it Actually Look Like the Photos? Because Instagram Lies, You Know.
The lobby. Oh, the lobby. Yes. It's gorgeous. Like, "spend an entire afternoon there with a book you *pretend* to read while secretly people-watching" gorgeous. The mix of textures, the comfortable seating… they nailed it. And yes, it *does* look like the photos. The lighting is perfect. The plants are luscious. I swear, I saw a couple of influencers practically auditioning to shoot their wedding photos there. (Spoiler alert: it was *not* my wedding. Though, a girl can dream…)
Food, Glorious Food! How's the On-Site Restaurant, Lovely Rita? (Or whatever it's called…)
Lovely Rita? Yeah, that's the spot. Honestly? I went in *skeptical*. Hotel restaurants are often hit or miss, right? But Lovely Rita? Surprisingly good! The vibes are cool, but not in a pretentious way. Like, you can wear jeans and not feel judged. The food… I had the avocado toast. Yes, I know, *basic*. But it was seriously good avocado toast. The coffee was strong. (Necessary.) I did, however, witness a slight kerfuffle with a couple ordering something complicated. I'm talking, "can I substitute this for that, and add a side of…?" levels of chaos. The staff handled it like pros! So yeah, good food. Recommended. Just be prepared for the potential for… let's call them "foodie-adjacent" situations...
The Staff – Are They Actually Nice, or Just Trained to *Appear* Nice? (The Portland Service Stereotype, You Know.)
Okay. The staff. This is where the Hoxton shines. They are, undeniably, genuinely nice. I mean, I've met robots with more personality, but not many. Seriously, they were friendly, helpful, and didn't seem to be faking it. I asked for extra towels (because I’m a messy shower-er) and they delivered them with a smile. They gave perfect recommendations for local spots. One even gave me directions to a hidden gem coffee shop that wasn’t on Google Maps! They're part of the reason I actually enjoyed my experience.
Location, Location, Location! Is It Actually Convenient, or Are You Going to be Stuck Ubering Everywhere?
The location? Excellent. Seriously. It's right in the heart of things. You can walk to tons of shops, restaurants, and bars. The Pearl District is right there… I walked to Powell's City of Books (a must-do, for anyone who loves books, which is me, of course). Public transit is easily accessible. I didn’t even *think* about needing an Uber. (Which, let’s be honest, is a win for my bank account). Plus, there's that general Portland vibe - cool people, creative energy, and an abundance of street art. You feel it.
Okay, The Nitty Gritty: What Sucked? (Because Nothing's Perfect, Right?)
Alright, let’s get to the honesty part. The small room size was a bit of a bummer, especially with my luggage. And, to be completely candid, I *did* try the gym once. Let's just say, it's a little… compact. More like a well-equipped closet designed for the seriously motivated. The limited space makes doing certain routines quite awkward. Also, the elevator was a *little* slow. I almost started climbing the stairs, out of sheer impatience! *Almost* I'm not a fan of stairs. Ultimately these weren't deal breakers.
The Vibe: Is it Overly Trendy, or Actually Relaxed? (Or Maybe Both?)
The vibe… is a mixed bag. It’s definitely trendy. There are *plenty* of stylish people milling about, likely strategizing their next Instagram post. But it's not suffocatingly so. It's a relaxed trendy. You could totally roll out of bed, throw on some jeans, and no one would bat an eye. It’s that kind of cool. I'd say it's a good balance between stylish and comfortable, which I appreciate. (Because, let's face it, I’m probably not as stylish as I think I am.)
Would You Stay at the Hoxton Portland Again? Be Honest!
Okay, here's the thing. Despite the tiny room, the slightly slow elevator, and the "foodie-adjacent" moments, yes. Absolutely, possibly. I'd go back. The location is perfect, the staff is awesome, and the overall vibe is (mostly) what I'm looking for when I'Hotel For Travelers
